Getting things done in the home, for me, is that I try to do it all my own. Now certainly my husband has certain tasks he does regularly, perhaps yours do too:
- Keeping gas in the vehicles
- Taking out the trash
- Doing the bills
Yet home management entails so many tasks that a girl is left with few options besides carrying the world on her shoulders. And yet, that’s not what God calls us to do. Rather He says in Matthew 11:28-30:
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
That’s not the yoke of household duties. According to Matthew Henry’s commentary the yoke is service to Christ. He also adds says, “[the yoke] is to obey the gospel of Christ, to yield ourselves to the Lord.”
The head knowledge is there, the spiritual motivation is there, but the daily practicality is missing. It seems there isn’t anyway of getting things done effectively in the home besides just pushing yourself, feeling like a failure while you rush around at a frantic race. This does not allow us rest! This is the weary and heavy-laden part… not the RESTING part 🙂
So how do we get away from holding the entire state of the home on our shoulders?
It’s called delegation.
Not everyone’s family will easily fall in order; I’m not saying that at all. What I am saying is to look for alternative ways of getting things done, even if that means leaving some of your tasks undone or not done to perfection. Sometimes we don’t know what we can do to solve the problem of overwhelm. Delegation is the key to these top 2 alternative ways to getting things done in your home.
Getting Your Husband’s Help
This can be a hard place to start but you have to start somewhere. Pray first and depending on your situation, pray for a while. I think of Esther going to speak with the King (who was also her husband). She first asked that the people would fast (which likely included prayer). Go humbly and with forethought of the discussion. Maybe you have not addressed the issue of home management with your husband before.
However, if you want any peace in this matter, I advocate you to have a sit down talk with your husband. Express your desire to fulfill Titus 2:5 and be a good keeper of the home. Let him know that you understand your part and yet you are overwhelmed. Together problem-solve why you are overwhelmed, perhaps your expectations need to change. Perhaps there needs clarification of what his goals are for the home (since it’s impossible to do it all perfectly on a regular basis).
Don’t be afraid to ask him, “What’s the priority for home management?”
No matter what he responds, be ready to act upon it. It may not be the bright and sunny outcome we want, but at least we will know what to focus on and THAT may be all the relief you need.
Getting Your Children’s Help
Now if you have children in your home that are at least 2 years old you have another way of getting help. Again not an easy road but
we have to encourage and discipline our children to help around the home
This is a big one for single moms! Children, starting young, need to learn responsibility and order. Let’s not allow a hold of laziness to grow in our children. Even at 2 years old children can learn to put their toys away and other similar tasks. At this age they love to help mommy so take advantage of it. It’s so easy to allow our kids to turn us into their servants. And YES we are to be servants of the Lord, but we also need to be instructing our children to be hard-workers.
Do not allow yourself to be demoted from Manager to Maid – we are the Lord’s maidservants (slaves), but not our households’. A good manager knows how to delegate the small stuff so the Big Stuff can be accomplished.
Just remember the Four S’s:
Any change works best when it is gradual. Have a heart of patience with your family but also know you DO have the option to at least ask for help. And with your children you do have a responsibility (even with older children) to teach them to have a heart that helps. In my next post I will give step-by-step guide of HOW to get your children to help.