Motherhood is not just about motherhood but about womanhood, wifehood and the priorities of those roles. When you become a mother it’s assumed you have some sense of the latter two but many times that’s not the case. By the time I became a mother I was 29 years old, plenty of time to figure out what my role was as a woman. I was also married 3 years at that point and I should have had a feel for what that meant too.
In actuality I didn’t know much about either role and didn’t truly know the priorities of them.
I was still figuring it out. Cut that because actually I hadn’t put effort into knowing what a womanhood meant. I didn’t know God’s purpose or call on a woman and now a third factor was thrown into place. A third wheel in a sense. I was spinning out of control.
I suddenly was trying to play catch-up with who I was in just my roles! This didn’t include who I was in my goals, skills, preferences, or perception of the world. I’m not saying that I’m a special case, as a matter of fact I’m saying that I’m the norm.
What do you do when you don’t know what to do? You don’t know who you are and now with a baby you don’t have time to figure it out. What do you do?
Here’s what you do: Go Slow.
Change does not happen when no effort is made, so don’t throw in the towel. Don’t say, “It’s too late.” Don’t say, “I’ll figure it out in my [30’s, 40’s, 50’s] when the kids are older.” Seriously, you will miss not only God’s purpose for your life right now, but also those you lead will not receive all they need in their lives. But you can know direction, just go slow.
A slow walk is better than standing still. It may take you days or weeks to grasp even one idea or aspect you are learning but start.
You need resources to start, otherwise you’ll never get there. God has set before us the purpose of our lives, how we are to lead others and why. Since He created us, that should be your very first resource. READ THE BIBLE. Read His word. So many people say they don’t know where to start reading the Bible!
AY! This is too hard, I give up.
Well, if you do, you will always be a quitter and do you want your children to be quitters? Do you want them to succeed? You are their example. Don’t give up. Start, but go slow. Open up the Bible and in the first 2 chapters you will quickly see the role of the wife! See how easy. Study it. Look up commentary and blogs talking about it. Read. I cannot emphasize more the importance of reading. Get books about the roles you have in life.
It’s time to go to school on who you are. You can only do it if you truly yearn for it. You won’t yearn for it until you realize you need help. And if you don’t need help, you don’t need to read this, go use your time more wisely. But if you are sick of being confused, go – go to school on who you are by reading and researching
What is a woman’s role and purpose.
What is a wife’s role and purpose.
What is a mother’s role and purpose.
Will you know your priorities for daily life by doing this? Yes, slowly. If you are anything like me always think things will come together a lot quicker than the reality of it. Change takes time but if change does not happen when you make no efforts.